Does this make sense?

Obviously, I am potty training Madelyn still. She is doing well, but I don't think I will trust her to go in public without a pull-up for quite some time. It is just common courtesy to the rest of the world... I don't want people trip over pee or poop.

Madelyn went to school today for the first time in a loooong time. We are on the sub list so if someone is sick, we're in. We usually find out the morning of and I race over to dump her off. (In a kind motherly way, of course.) I have a nemesis of highlands ranch already. It is VERY weird how this lady gets entwined in my child's social life. Not even that she has a social life... it is complicated and the end of the day the women ignores me even though she should know who I am, but I am not "cool" enough for her. She reminds me of a person... who I am not allowed to say... but if you REALLY liked "white chicks and gang signs", you know who I am talking about. I like my power of invisibility... I should be on Heroes.

Anyways, she started potty training at the same time as I did. So, she brings her kid to school in real underwear and when the kids were on a walk, she pees her pants. The teacher has to take all the kids back to her home to change Miss Pissy Pants. And it isn't the kids fault, she should still be in a Pull-up... But, then the kids go back on their walk and lose craft time because of Miss No Pull-Up. Yeah, shit happens... but it should happen in a Pull-Up.

It pisses me off... (pun intended)

More Garage Sale Finds

I also got this...

YAhhh baby! YAH!

Oh behave!

Oh so 1999... .

I heart garage sales

I have been a long time supporter of garage sales. It started when my grandparents would take me to them and would buy me a nasty teddy bear and then it would magically disappear when I brought it home. The neighbor across the street was having a garage sale. When we moved in, he told us that he was "tool poor". I saw him "preparing" for the sale and I asked him if he was going to have a lot of tools on sale. He was kinda a jerk and told me he was going to have a lot of metal shop stuff on sale. "Just come back tomorrow".

Well, I like woodworking tools and I don't like taking Madelyn places because I will come back with the nasty teddy bear.

They had at least 200 CD's for sale. It was alot of stuff I listened to in high school and early years of college. Anyways, I bought some rakes and shovels and this...

Exposure Coverage '08

The neighbor down the street has a baby 9 days older than Audrey. They are really nice people... but they won't help me egg the people 7 doors down. (Which, incidentally, decided yesterday when they were half down the street that they forgot something and reversed it all the way home, almost crashing into a motorcyclist. I have come to the conclusion that they must have paid for the road since they think they own it.)
One can get the Varivax (chicken pox) vaccine at 12 months. Well, I think Merck should look into making the vaccine available to 6 months old. Lexi got the pox. Audrey has the potential of getting the pox. The watch is until May 1st.

For the relatives

Madelyn is in real underwear. I think she is 94.8% trained. She is know going by herself on the big potty... without a kid seat.

Audrey is waving, "hi"

Okay, I am going to stop talking about Madelyn potty training because every time I do... we have an accident. Like the one I am cleaning up right now.

Stinky Hippies

Me and the girls went to Red Rocks yesterday. Audrey couldn't take a nap and I was hoping she would fall asleep in the car on the way there. For those who don't know what Red Rocks is... it is a bunch of red rocks. I hope that clears that up...

I think the place has a magnetic draw to hippies and other stinky people (like really really old people that would drive slow in their caddies). There were a lot of hippies there hiking, biking, playing frisbie... yeah, what a life.

It is sooo hard to get Madelyn to take a good picture. Audrey is easy, make a fart noise and she will smile.

Madelyn is loving her swing set. Here is piggy ha ha takin' a swing.

White chicks and gang signs

I am gonna bust a cap in your bottle

Wigigidy wigity wack.. BOOOYYYZZZ...

Ahhhhh!

Spoke too soon... she took ANOTHER dump in her underwear while I was putting Audrey down for a nap. She said, "I'm sick!" I would have to agree. I wonder if it was the Japanese curry she ate yesterday?

Largest crap ever

Madelyn left a load... and my first thought was, "Are you okay?"

Then not five minutes later she says she has to go pee-pee... so I tell her to go ahead. (She can do it all by herself) I hear,"I went poo-poo!" WHAT?! Your last one was like 5 pounds? The next one was equally huge. She got to healthy helpings of chocolate for such a good job.

Way to crap! Good job!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood (Boooooring)

Champagne of beers. This picture was taken in the am.. on 4/13/08. After church, of course.
Any guesses why I was livin' the high life?

Damnit, get in my mouth!

It was a beautiful day here in Colorado. It was lower 70's.. sunny. Frickin' nice. Yesterday I went to Walmart and they had the swing set that I wanted. I was going to get it online, but, heck it was there so.. why not.

David started putting it together yesterday and finished up today. It was no easy task. The swing set was made in the USA so why did they use Chinenglish in the directions? Then I noticed it was built in Kentucky. Ah ha... enuf said.

Nothing new. I think of alot of funny stuff to put in the blog, but then I forget. It will come back I hope. Here of some pics I took today.

if you listen carefully you can hear Audrey say bye twice.

My Madelyn in "dancing classes"

Home Depot should be on the Root of all Evil

Reader discretion advised.

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/root_of_all_evil/index.jhtml

The show is pretty funny. I rarely laugh at shows (except for Everyone Loves Raymond because there are some aspects that mimic my life) But back to Home Sucko.

I went to Home Sucko yesterday to look at swing sets and to get a sprinkler. I enter the massive Home Store-that-"caters"-to-a-male's-urge-to-build-crap in the nursery section. I figured that would be more of the estrogen side of the 5 acre building. Get some pretty flowers, look at over priced lawn furniture... ahh... so serene. So I start looking for the sprinkler... found the cheapest! OK, kids still happy? Check! On to see what they carry for swing sets! I chase after the overly avoiding worker and ask were the swing sets "You can do it, now leave me alone" He told me it was Aisle 20 something in Lumber. That is 20 aisles to go. So Madelyn is constantly talking about ice cream and Audrey is digging my keys. I make the trek to the lumber section and Madelyn tells me she is hungry so I have exactly 10 minutes to get the hell out of there before she starts screaming.

In the empty aisle, I take off to the swing set end cap. I see that I shouldn't even bother coming down the aisle, but I just came 20 aisle to get here and I am gonna look. Just then a older man with his cute ever-so-manly orange smock asks if I need help. Nope. I am just looking at your crappy swing set section. Then he goes. "Why don't you keep an eye on her." Pointing to Madelyn. There is NO ONE in the aisle... she is walking in the middle of the aisle.. touching nothing... STILL talking about ice cream. My jaw dropped! I sarcasticly said, "Yeah, Yeah.." and gave him the look of death. Who the hell are you? "You can do it, We can help" My butt. They run when they see someone with breasts like a nerd runs to hide in the girl's lockerroom. When they do ask you if you need help and it is just a segway to tell you that you aren't watching your kids? What the HELL! She never shuts up! If she was quiet, I would know she is up to something.

I love Ace Hardware.

Here are the kids at the same age, but different houses. No sound for Madelyn.





Lois comes today. She booked it on American. The irony that the day they cancel 1,000 flights is the day she is supposed to fly.

I really should be cleaning, but, yeah... I have a theory on why the place is a mess and it ends up being her fault. I don't want to say it because, well, I would get in trouble. (I do live with a bunch of women) :)

I made Strawberry Rhuburp jam yesterday... in the cock pot. The only way to cook. David says it is good, I have yet to try it. I am becoming a Real Betty Cocker.

Well, I probably will not blog again until Sunday.

Green Beans

Poop is Precious in Mexico

Lois is coming on Wednesday and the house needs a face lift. David called some maids for me so I won't stress as much about the visit. They were supposed to come at 2pm and they arrived at 1:15pm, most people wouldn't care, but I needed to put the kids down for their naps. I told them which rooms to clean por favor and then I went and put Audrey down for a nap. Well, usually, I let Madelyn watch a TV show while I put Audrey down, but I didn't want her being freaked out with our guests, so I put her in her crib with the DVD player. I came back and asked Madelyn if she need to go pee and she said, "Goldfish". So I handed her some Goldfish and I left to check on the maids.

I come back and the room stinks to high heaven. I ask her, "Did you go poo-poo?" She spouts something about Barney and Triceratops (Baby Bop). I pick her up and noticed I stepped in something warm and wet. It's poop. Up her chest, Up her back, down her legs, in her hair... and now it is all over me to since I picked her up. Unknowingly, a terd fell on the ground and I had stepped on it. So, I need to clean this child up. I run her into our master bathroom and start scraping the Blackberry/Corn poo off. The maids come into the bathroom. I tell them, that we are potty training and she just pooped everywhere. The lady replied, "How precious." Then her son translated... and then they took a wiff of the bathroom. Not so precious, ay?

Maybe that is why they did a poopy job cleaning the house?

Bad Drivers Live in Colorado

You look at the lists of worst places to drive and DC is always on the list. I would like the people of these magazines to drive in Highlands Ranch (or Park Meadows... they drive horrible, too). They are HORRIBLE!
Example #1: I was backing out of my driveway this morning and I noticed the person SEVEN houses down was also backing out. I figured I had plenty of time. She whipped her Expedition out of the driveway and up my rear. She wouldn't even wait for me to throw it into drive... she went on the neighbors driveway and sidewalk to go around me. We are talking about 4 seconds for me to throw it into drive? Did I mention she had a car full of kids? Come on, we are neighbors! I want to egg her house. I know where you LIVE!
Example #2: No one uses their turn signals. I think they recycled them for the "Save the Bees" foundation or something... People should donate their cell phones to the bees, then maybe they will have a free hand to use their turn signals.
Example #3... I can't think of, BUT as much as I complain to my sister about it... I have a plethora of examples.

Warning! Warning! Audrey is mobile! Put up the gates and lock the cabinets because she is looking for something to drool on!